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As promised...T3H ANNOUNCEMENT. [11 Feb 2005|04:11pm]
[ mood | complacent ]

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Well guys, this is it. I've decided to make my journal friends only. Comment to be added. If I don't know you, please include at least some things we have in common...I wont add you just because.

Wondering why?Collapse )

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It's too early. XD [11 Feb 2005|06:10am]
[ mood | hungry ]

The random song I woke up with stuck in my head: A Girl Worth Fighting For, from Mulan. Yesterday's was the 'Give Up the Toad Now' song, from Family Guy. XD Jeeze.

I have something important to say in here a little later on today, but it's morning, and I intend on getting long-winded, so I'll wait until this afternoon when I have more time and I'm not so lazy.

Yes. I should go eat breakfast now. Coffe~ee! :3

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...Heh. [08 Feb 2005|06:04am]
[ mood | awake ]

I've been totally neglecting my LJ. XD Poor LJ. At least I don't abandon it and randomly start new ones, like Lundin. Ah well, anyway, I said I'd write a real entry when I got home last night, but, ah...I didn't. XD I was preoccupied with my health assignment (that was due last Thursday. ^_^;;)

Yesterday was a drag.

First period was spent making these crappy little book-things...geometry should not involve cutting and pasting like fourth-graders, I maintain, but at least it was easy busy work, and I wasn't bored.

Second period we had a sub and I got to avoid handing in the map I didn't do (oh shit, I still haven't done it...) and watched a video on Leonardo de Vinci. I'm so sick of the comments every time these videos mention that the subject was gay. "Oooh! FAG!" How about "Oooh, you're a moron?" Texas sucks in that respect.

Third, sub, and OMFG I feel guilty. XD Our (Darcy, Michelle and my) project was due last week and because I wasn't there, I didn't help on it, so now I have to do...something...to make the grade up for myself. x_X; Michelle and Darcy acted as if I was sick to get out of doing the project. No such luck, I actually like Biology.

Fourth was English and we watched what I am convinced is the worst movie adaptation of Julius Caesar ever. It's accurate, at least, word-for-word, but all the actors are old and crappy. XD I got some good drawing done in that class. *Shrug*

Fifth was choir...it went by really quickly, I was surprised. Usually choir seems to take forever (it's a little longer than the rest of my classes) but yesterday was nice. ^_^ I got really into the music and before I knew it, the bell waws ringing.

Sarah didn't sit with us at lunch...I'm hoping that my journal on DA didn't scare her into thinking I don't like her or something...that was more directed toward the general populace, not her... *Pokes Sarah* Come ba~ack... T_T

Sixth...Spanish...test I didn't know about...gah.

And finally, seventh was health, boring, boring, boring, but since I wasn't there, I didn't have to take the test, so I got sent into the hallway to do vocab, then take a vocab quiz, then do a study guide. I realize now that I totally could have left early if I'd wanted to. I was out there all period. T_T Damn.

Maaah, I need to go over to April's and comandeer her scanner. I'll ask Mom if I can do that today, then you all can see what I've been up to! :3 I'll give you a hint: ...Obsessivley drawing RP characters! Oh, crap, gave it away, didn't I! *Snap*

Heeheehee. ^^ Club today, too. It should be good, Kelly's bringing Karaoke Revolution, and April and Lundin took care of DDR...Ayren's probably doing landscape drawing with the drawing people. This is good, I'm glad faithful members are still coming. I still can't help but feel out of place there, though. ^_^;; I don't own any games to bring in and share (April and Lundin), I don't have extensive knowledge of J-Rock that can entertain people in a lecture (Kelly and Kalyn) and I certainly can't instruct anyone on drawing, or any sort of art (Ayren.) It feels like I'm not contrubuting, and I feel bad about that.

Ah...I'll find something to do, I guess. M'off, gotta eat breakfast! :O

P.S: Cate, sorry if I pissed you off last night. ^_^;;

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... [07 Feb 2005|06:14am]
[ mood | calm ]

Totally Spies is the result of anime and Charlie's Angels and a night of heavy, heavy drinking. This show has no reason to exsist. Why am I watching it? ...Uh...I don't really know.

...Yeah, I need to go to school now. XD Real entry when I get home, if I'm not too swamped with make-up work.

2 comments|post comment

Pissed. [06 Feb 2005|05:01pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

Still sick and uncomfortable and Cate's not on so I can't vent my creativity. Fuck.

Mom and Steve went out to do...something. I forgot. In any case, I'm cold and tired and griping because I can. T_T Real entry when I'm feeling less "OMGIHATETHEWORLD."

1 comment|post comment

Well. Go~ood morning. [05 Feb 2005|12:14am]
[ mood | complacent ]

It's not officially Saturday. Which means, later today, (in about ten hours) I'll be going to San Marcos to see Dane. This is a very good thing. :3

April's coming with, and we're staying overnight (presumably at the same hotel as last time) so this should be very enjoyable! :D I'm really stoked to see Dane, too...I didn't end up getting him his birthday gift, so I'm prolly just gonna stick him with a fistfull of cash and say, "Go crazy." ...Assuming I can obtain said fistfull of cash.

So yeah. I was home sick again today. I feel much better now, I'm glad to say. :3 Today was pretty boring...I slept and sneezed and dripped from my nose all day, but otherwise, it was alright. I'm going to have a shitload of work to catch up on once I get back to school...but I don't really mind. It'll give me something to do.

Got to RP with Cate tonight... <3~ That was good, even though she went missing for an hour or so without notice. XD Ah well...I can't say we'll catch up tomorrow...'cause I wont be here...Sunday, too...ah well. During the week, I hope, if she doesn't have ski team stuff to do. *Smirk* Ski team...

Myaa, my nose is running like a faucet (as I'm sure you needed to know) and I've gotta be up, showered and packed by ten, so I'm thinking of going to bed. I may update before I leave tomorrow, I may not. In any case...bed time. ^^

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... :O [03 Feb 2005|04:43pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

So yeah, that pretty much sums it up. :D;; I wasn't in school today 'cause I came home last night and practically collapsed, I felt so shitty. Mom came home and was like, "o.O; WTF is wrong with you? You're staying home tomorrow!"

But in my advanced state of lethargy, I was able to finally watch Troy. :D It was amusing, only because I'm a horrible person.

I was thinking about it, and some ideas came to mind... :3;;;

AT: After Troy (Spoilers, don't click if you haven't seen it)Collapse )

4 comments|post comment

Moop. [02 Feb 2005|06:20am]
[ mood | content ]

So, yeah, it's Wednesday. And the days are still going immesurably slowly.

Maybe I should stop updating my LJ at six in the morning. *Glances to the clock* ...Crap.

Yesterday was Dane's birthday. ^_^ He's twenty-one, fully legal. I wuv my brother. I'm also glad he's got a brain and can see that once you're allowed to drink it's not fun anymore. ^^;; Heh.

Anyway...There's some sort of food in the kitchen, and it's a'callin' my name! :D

2 comments|post comment

Mrrh. [01 Feb 2005|06:12am]
[ mood | bitchy ]

I can NOT believe it's only Tuesday. T_T I'm DYING! Ugh, this week seems like it's lasted forever.

Club today...and once again we have nothing to do. GRR. I'm beginning to really hate this.

...Yeah, I don't have much to say. I think I'm just gonna go get breakfast and do the stuff I'm supposed to be doing. :D;;

4 comments|post comment

Why hello, it's Sunday. Welcome Sunday, dahoo, dahoo. I need sleep. [30 Jan 2005|01:10pm]
[ mood | awake ]

Well, after laughing myself into a stupor over my subject (yes, I'm that easily amused! :D) I'm ready to post!

...What sucks is, I don't have a lot to say! :) April's over. She came over around two (I think) yesterday and we've been acting like idiots, playing Majora's Mask and...acting...like idiots...since she's been here. ^_^ Last night we went shopping with Mom, and it was t3h boring, but that's alright because I discovered that Andrew works at the Game Crazy I go to! :D Yay!

We rented Troy, and I'm convinced we aren't going to watch it. XD We've been trying and trying to watch Moonchild since April got it for Christmas, but, uh, no go. XD Heh.

Wa na na...not much to report...'cept we went to China Bear last night...and apart from the pretty fountains and OMGPretty atmosphere...it sucked. XD I like Beijing, 'cause nobody goes there and they have good dumplings. *Nod* Right, enough of my food-rant.

Before we went out to dinner, Ayren stopped by to say hi on his way to a friend's house...that was nice...'till he got all awkward when he found out April was here and ran away. ^_^;; He came again this morning, stuck around in his awkwardness, then left. It's gonna be weird for a while. ^_^;;;

Royt, so, I'm gonna go watch April play Majora's Mask s'more, and maybe read over some old RP transcripts. :3 Later!

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Mya~ah. [28 Jan 2005|06:00pm]
[ mood | complacent ]

Today was...I don't know. Stressful? Irritating? Nah, not really. It was more of a numb day. Same as always, y'know? Drama, drama, drama...

Ayren was down this morning when I got to The Corner (that has slowly but surely morphed into the surging, uncomfortable mass of people...ugh) and sprawled on the ground with his eyes clothes. I commented that he looked like Jesus, but he remained comatose. He didn't even stir when I stuck his MP3 player down his pants. He only woke up after the bell rang, then proceeded to sit against the wall and not talk, not blink, just stare. Yeah, due to current events, I was worrying my fool head off all freaking day. T_T;;

First period was spent in a state of note-taking unconsiousness. Not much to report on, there. But yeah. I'm doing well in Geometry, so be happy for me, all.

Second period we had a test in History...I love how Coach Meador was barking about how hard the test was going to be...and it was sup4r 345y. After I finished with that, I went back to a doodle of Link I was doing for Ayren...'cause I was so damn worried about him. ._.;

Predictably, he didn't show up in the usual spot before third period, and I was in a shitty mood because of it. Third period, Biology, was spent being confused by this stupid chart Coach assigned us...none of us (me, Darcy, Michelle and Katie) had any idea what we were doing, but we got to play with dried beans and a spoon, so...Eh. *Shrug*

Fourth period we had a substitute... :3 Yay! And we read the first act of Julius Caesar. Again. -_-; I wonder if anyone else realized/cared that we did that yesterday as well?

Fifth period, I really, REALLY didn't feel like singing (as I was still freaking out at Ayren's lack of...well...life) so I just kind of lip synced. Not the healthiest thing for a choir that sucks as much as we do, but eh. Whatever. Tabitha sings loud enough to carry the Second Sopranos without me. :3

Then lunch...and April was mopey and almost slapped me. Whoops. Sorry hon. ^_^;; Note to you all, don't startle April when she's peeved.

I ran upstairs after lunch and ambushed Ayren 'cause it was the only time I could think to find him. Got him in the hall and we hugged for like, three solid minutes. ^_^;; I almost started crying, the poor guy. I told him I'd made something for him and he kind of half-smiled and said, "Yeah? What's that?" And I freaked out and hugged him 'cause he hadn't spoken to me all day. :3 But yeah, that reassured me.

Sixth period...Ohgodshootme. Spanish, and Paige is being transferred to another class, so she wasn't there, and Amber was at her great-grandma's funeral. T.T I missed them today, dammit!

Seventh was Health, quiz and note-taking. Nothing spectacular. 'Till it was completely silent and Desree (Spelling? God, her name sucks. x_X; Just because I can't spell it) said really loud, "KYLE, COME HERE." It was amusing, 'cause she kept trying and everyone was laughing and the substitute didn't give a damn. :D

So, after school I told Ames I didn't feel like doing anything (and it's true, I'm here by myself and loving it) and got on the bus and went home. Ayren showed up at my door, however, about ten minutes after I got home. ^^;; He stayed for a while, then I kicked him out (feeling quite bad about it, too) 'cause I really do need Lizzie-time. It's been a hell of a week.

...I'm...gonna go feed the cats.

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Ruler troubles. [26 Jan 2005|08:15pm]
[ mood | creative ]

I can't find my ruler. XP

I finally get the patience to start working on SHS, and I can't find my bloody ruler. Grraarg.

Well, I guess that's what I get for only having one ruler.

...Yeah, I promise I'll have a real update as soon as my life gets interesting. ^_^

2 comments|post comment

For you. [26 Jan 2005|03:52pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Twenty-three days ago, you wore the same shirt
you smiled the same smile
But I'm not seeing that today.
The twenty-third day and it's overwith
and I'm concerned again.

Stuff happened today. I hope everybody's okay...
1 comment|post comment

Mwahaha. [24 Jan 2005|07:09pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

I just woke up and went into the kitchen. Chaos insued. :D

"Can you guys tell me when you're done with the oven? Somebody didn't tell me when the Mac 'N Cheese was done. XP"

"Uh, microwave?"

"Microwaves are for the weak! LIBERATION!"


"So anyway..."

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Hn. [22 Jan 2005|10:33pm]
[ mood | melancholy ]

Okay, let's say someone you really, really care about neglected to tell you something that could be possibly and most likely lifechanging for them, thus, for you, too? Would you be mad? I don't know how to feel right now, guess I'm just down 'cause I don't know who to believe in situations like this...

Ugh. Talking with Lundin, that's pretty cool...we haven't really spoken in a while, and that's kind of sad...but it's weird that we only really talk when something's bothering us. I guess that's the basis of our friendship. He may seem flakey sometimes, and I may be an insufferable bitch, but when it comes down to it, we're really there for one another. At least, I like to think so.

In any case, I've been feeling much better about things in general. April and Ayren came over last night...that was fun, yup. I wish Lundin'd been there, too. We could've played a kickass game of truth or dare. XD

Meh. Now I'm talking to Zach and Lundin...RPing with Cate, if she'll ever come back...feelin' melancholy. This sucks.

9 comments|post comment

*Giggles* [21 Jan 2005|06:30am]
[ mood | content ]

The Great LiveJournal
Outage of 2005

During the outage I attempted to contact people I have spoken to online through a phone line. I heard voices, it was so strange.

What did you do?

Brought to you by geek-foo

Bwahaha, that's almost accurate. :D

Anyway...real post a little later. I need to get to school pretty soon. Had plans to take more pictures with Ayren after school, so that should be fun. It's kind of like work, but kind of not, though. XD (<- Most intelligent statement ever)
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Hi. Yeah. One of those days. [19 Jan 2005|08:55am]
[ mood | okay ]

Hi. It's nearly nine. Why aren't I in school? I don't know. It's just one of those days, I guess. I woke up feeling okay, pressed the alarm three or four times before I realized that it was already off, and stumbled into the shower.

Got up, got dressed, looked disgustingly 'goth' today...then I had a fit and broke down crying.

I feel sick now, Mom made me eat eggs for breakfast even though I wasn't hungry, and I just want to lie down and go to sleep, but I'm not allowed at the moment. Mental health days, as Mom calls them, are generally days for reflection and...well...mental health. I'll do some meditating or something later, drink water, 'pray'. Depends on how I feel.

In any case...I don't know what's the matter with me. Yesterday I was semi-sad, and then today it just kind of consumed me. I'll be better tomorrow, probably. I just wish I knew what spurred these stupid feelings of mine.

You know what sucks? How much I talk about myself. I hate that. I hate it when I have nothing better to say 'cause I'm a boring husk of a person, so I start talking about me. My journal is my exception, I guess. I'm allowed that, here, but in conversation, it's just irritating.

You know what else sucks? The fact that every day I can't go to school without getting into/witnessing a debate about religion. By now, most of you know where I stand on that subject. I believe in God. But I'm not a Christian, Catholic, Protestant, Jew, Muslim, or anything, for that matter. That may have been what set me off yesterday.

I am so immesurably sick of people telling me that I'm going to hell because I don't 'know God'. This is one thing I really hate about Texas. Bible-beaters, as April calls 'em. If there is a God (and we've established that I believe that there is) I would think that where we end up is more based on who we are as a person, not what we followed or how many hours we spent at church listening to someone preach words from a book written by men not God oh so many centuries ago.

No, I don't think I'm going to hell. I'm not even sure if I believe in such a place. But I don't think that's all that important. I wont worry about judgement. Believing in a religion because you're afraid of what will happen if you don't really isn't faith, is it? I wont force myself into that. I have faith. Just not in the same things a lot of other people do.

And damn, talking about religion in everyday conversation is just rude, don't you think? I mean, Mom said yesterday that she misses the fact that up in New England, people have real conversations. You know, about art, theatre, books, sports, even. Here, it's all about religion because they don't have anything else to talk about, and that's sad.

Once again, I hold the right to talk about this here because it is my journal and my means for personal expression. So I've expressed. And I feel a great deal better now that I have.

3 comments|post comment

Ah, LJ's back. Gooood. ^_^ [15 Jan 2005|11:35pm]
[ mood | content ]

Whoo! It's been a pretty weird couple of days! :D I was too lazy to update Wednesday and Thursday, then LJ went down yesterday, so I'm updating today! I'm sure you're all thrilled. ^^

Wednesday...what a waste of a day. Nothing really happened, that I can remember at the moment.

Thursday...ah...I don't even remember. XD OMG, THE HEARTLESS STOLE ME BRAIN, YO! *Been playing way too much KH: CoM*

Friday was fun. ^_^ Ayren came over after school and we half-heartedly watched The Village while doodling Runes on ourselves. I have the Souleater on my hand. :3 Let's hope it doesn't eat my soul. *Cackles like an idiot*

Ahem. Yes! ^_^ So anyway, Ayren left yesterday at about nine, (after we went out to the construction site at the back of the subdivision and took some photos) and I tried to play Suikoden IV for a while, but it didn't work and I konked out, really tired.

Oh, by the way. I GOT SUIKODEN IV! :D! Yayayayayayayayayay!!111!1one! It rocks. So hard. OMGTed. :9

April's over, now. ^_^ We just finished watching FMA and cuddling like silly lesbians (haw) and now she's over on the other side of the room with Yotan and we're kind of listening to Josh and ignoring eachother. ^_^;;;

Night, all!

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... [11 Jan 2005|09:37pm]
[ mood | determined ]

"I let myself really worry, like Mom told me to...and when I woke up, I felt all better!" Sana said, lifting a hand to her head, looking sheepish and even laughing a little. Naozumi looked on, and she continued to speak. "You see...I realized, things aren't really all that bad right now. I've also learned that I don't need to worry about having a reason to like someone. And that it's okay to feel whatever I need to feel. It's okay to keep on feeling this way...even if he doesn't feel the same." She'd turned away from Naozumi, and peered out over the mountain view.

"But...won't that be tough on you?" Nao asked quietly, his eyebrows raised as he watched her, concerned. He wanted more than anything to reach out and tell her he loved her over and over again.

"Maybe...But I'm going to try my best." Sana said, taking a long breath and smiling her old determined smile.

(Characters and lines © Miho Obana - Prose by me. Let's call it a fanfic, for now)

Now. Who can tell me that shoujo manga isn't true to life?

I don't mean to keep whining, I really don't. This, sometimes, feels like the only place I can go, when I really need to get something out of my system. I don't private entries like these...because deep down I want someone to see them. I want people to know what I'm thinking. I don't want to become cold and unfeeling just because I'm too scared to tell my friends what's going on inside my head.

So I'm sorry. I think I'm going to be okay, now. It'll take a while, but I'm getting there. I've been immesurably happy for the past couple of days...I don't want to lose sight of that...that I can be happy even with all that's going on. That it doesn't control my life, rule me, tell me how to feel. I can feel what I want...I just need to learn to stop feeling guilty for every breath I take.

I love you all. So much.

7 comments|post comment

Myeh. [11 Jan 2005|06:16pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

I don't wanna hear it
don't wanna pretend
like I'm happy
for the things I'll never be.

Selfishness, losing it
I'm losing my mind
and it's my own fault
that you drive me CRAZY.

Yeah. I'm okay. Just a little tired today, and I needed to crank out some freeform poetry. Sleepy... T_T

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